Here’s The WORST of Day 2 Of Late Night On The Abortion Draft Ruling


As if references to the Taliban and The Handmaid’s Tale were not enough, three of late night’s alleged comedians were back at it on Wednesday night for another round of outrageous commentary on Justice Alito’s leaked draft opinion that may overturn Roe v. Wade.

Trevor Noah went first on The Daily Show on Comedy Central and claimed to see hypocritical sexism in pro-lifers, “So, those are the latest updates on the fallout of the Roe v. Wade leak from the Supreme Court and while we don’t know where this will end we do know it is definitely reignited a conversation about how society treats women’s reproductive rights because you know, what I find interesting is if you go online, or if you watch conservative news, all right, you’re bound to find tons of people saying that the reason they are against abortion, the reason, is because they don’t want to interfere with what God has decided.”

 

 

The supposed hypocrisy comes in not having any objections to erectile dysfunction treatments, “However, I find it interesting that these same people never use that argument when it comes to men. Yeah because you if watch—if you watch– Fox News—or any of these channels, they’ve got ads for erectile dysfunction pills, all right. Yeah, how come they never say oh, “you can’t get it up, well that’s God’s will. I’m sorry. Your penis doesn’t work anymore? That is what the Lord wanted.” 

Of course, pregnancy is not a problem to be treated but, like Ketanji Brown Jackson, Noah is not a biologist, so bad analogies can be expected.

Meanwhile, over at CBS’s The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert claimed that by focusing on the leak, Republicans are being cowards, “Of course, after years of packing the Supreme Court with the express intention of overturning Roe v. Wade Republicans in congress took a victory lap. Jimmy, show their celebration.”

After showing a clip of a tumbleweed being blown across a road, Colbert quipped, “Oh, right. I forgot. They’re cowards. Because they know it’s really unpopular. So they didn’t talk about the actual decision.”

While Republicans are being careful not to celebrate too soon, NBC’s Seth Meyers lamented on Late Night that, “five Republicans on the Supreme Court appear poised to strike down Roe v. Wade and erase abortion rights in a ruling that would deprive tens of millions of women their fundamental right to make health care decisions for themselves.”

After playing a clip of ABC’s Rick Klein describing how devastating the leak is, Meyers declared the Court deserves its shattered reputation because it rules in ways he does not like and because Republicans are bad, “And you know what? Maybe the institution deserves to be shattered a little bit. You could argue it was already shattered a long time ago by cynical Republicans who spent decades turning it into a political weapon by defiling the Constitution, stealing Supreme Court seats, and forcing their nominees onto the bench through the exercise of raw power.”

CBS’s James Corden and NBC’s Jimmy Fallon did not talk about Roe or abortion on their Wednesday programs and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel is still out with COVID while substitute host Mike Birbiglia avoided the topic for the second night in a row.

Trevor Noah was sponsored by Popeyes, Stephen Colbert was sponsored by Energizer Batteries, and Seth Meyers was sponsored by Arby’s.

Here is a transcript for the May 4 and May 5 shows:

Comedy Central The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

5/4/2022

11:08 PM ET

TREVOR NOAH: So, those are the latest updates on the fallout of the Roe v. Wade leak from the Supreme Court and while we don’t know where this will end we do know it is definitely reignited a conversation about how society treats women’s reproductive rights because you know, what I find interesting is if you go online, or if you watch conservative news, all right, you’re bound to find tons of people saying that the reason they are against abortion, the reason, is because they don’t want to interfere with what God has decided. 

If you got pregnant because God wanted you to be pregnant. If you can’t have kids that is God’s plan too, which I understand that as an argument, I really do. However, I find it interesting that these same people never use that argument when it comes to men. Yeah because you if watch—if you watch– Fox News—or any of these channels, they’ve got ads for erectile dysfunction pills, all right. Yeah, how come they never say oh, “you can’t get it up, well that’s God’s will. I’m sorry. Your penis doesn’t work anymore? That is what the Lord wanted.” 

They never say that. They never say, medicine is always encouraged to do whatever it can to augment men’s sexual health however it can and if you want—if you want to see, if you want to see just how far medicine is willing to go for men, look no further than this story from the U.K. where doctors helped a man grow a penis on his arm.

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

5/4/2022

11:37 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: It’s been, what? It’s been 48 hours let’s say and America is still reeling from Monday’s leaked Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade. It—it– came out of nowhere. Because with inflation, and the pandemic, and rising fascism, and Ukraine, this wasn’t exactly an issue on the front burner right now. In fact, back in 2021, a Gallup poll asked what people thought the most important problem facing the U.S. was, and fewer than half of 1% answered abortion. 

By March of 2022, that number was zero. Clearly, after 50 turbulent years, Roe was finally no longer a five-alarm fire, but the conservative majority decided to follow their standard protocol: In case of no emergency, burn, baby, burn. Now, if people did not exactly consider this a pressing issue before, they sure do now because last night, thousands of people showed up to protests in Washington D.C.; New York City; Austin, Texas; and Los Angeles. California. That’s a lot of people. That’s a lot of people. 

Usually, you only get crowds like that when Delta announces they’ve begun pre-boarding. “I refuse to stay seated until you call my zone!” 

Of course, after years of packing the Supreme Court with the express intention of overturning Roe v. Wade Republicans in congress took a victory lap. Jimmy, show their celebration. 

Oh, right. I forgot. They’re cowards. Because they know it’s really unpopular. So they didn’t talk about the actual decision. Instead, Republicans focused on the unprecedented nature of the leak itself. Look, I can understand the argument that this leak is bad for the institution of the Supreme Court. But come on, did you think waiting to release it this summer was going to make it a hot beach read: Your body, his choice. 

NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers

5/5/2022

12:40 AM ET

SETH MEYERS: As everyone undoubtedly knows by now, five Republicans on the Supreme Court appear poised to strike down Roe v. Wade and erase abortion rights in a ruling that would deprive tens of millions of women their fundamental right to make health care decisions for themselves. We know that from a truly stunning leak of a draft opinion. And while there have been leaks before, a leak of this magnitude seems virtually unprecedented in the history of the Court. 

RICK KLEIN:  It is cataclysmic, I think, for the reputation of the Court, and even for the internal operations of the court. This is how they do their work, they do it in secrecy… I cannot think of another time where a full draft opinion has leaked early in the process like this… You cannot understate how or overstate how big a deal this is for how the Court operates. The trust is shattered and I think it’s going to take a long time for the Court to recover from this. 

MEYERS: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that their trust has been shattered. How will they ever recover from this breach of their personal privacy? Maybe Samuel Alito can start wearing a shirt that says, “My judicial body, my choice.” 

We never—we never get —we never get this sort of inside look– we never get this sort of inside look at the private machinations of the Court, it’s a secretive institution of unaccountable lifetime appointees they don’t want you to know what they’re up to behind the scenes, especially in a case like this. Seeing one of their draft opinions before it’s published is like seeing your gym teacher in a liquor store or like seeing a Taco Bell employee lead a horse into the kitchen, “Whoa, whoa. Whoa, steady, Chalupa. It’s going to be fine.”

And you know what? Maybe the institution deserves to be shattered a little bit. You could argue it was already shattered a long time ago by cynical Republicans who spent decades turning it into a political weapon by defiling the Constitution, stealing Supreme Court seats, and forcing their nominees onto the bench through the exercise of raw power.



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